As a little girl, I dreamed of seeing my designs on the world’s biggest fashion stages.
I imagined the lights, the music, the models walking in pieces I had poured my soul into. I saw my name alongside luxury brands, creating collections that would grace London, Paris, New York, and beyond.
I thought I had made it.
I had built a global fashion brand—selling across continents. I had seen my designs on catwalks. I had finally turned my childhood dream into reality.
From the outside, it looked like success. But inside?
I was running.
Not towards success, but away from my past.
The truth? I didn’t even realise I was doing it.
How Unhealed Pain Shows Up Without Us Even Realising It
We think we’ve moved on. We tell ourselves we’re “fine.” We build lives that look good from the outside.
But the body never forgets—and it always finds a way to reveal what the mind is trying to suppress.
Maybe you can relate…
🔹 Overworking—believing if you stay busy enough, you’ll never have to sit with your emotions.
🔹 Perfectionism—trying to control everything because, deep down, you never felt safe.
🔹 Constant achievement chasing—thinking the next milestone will finally make you feel “enough.”
🔹 People-pleasing—saying yes when you want to say no, because deep down, you fear rejection.
🔹 Self-sabotage—pushing success away the moment it starts to feel too real or too close.
🔹 Struggling with intimacy—keeping people at a distance, afraid of being truly seen.
🔹 Feeling stuck in cycles of anger, resentment, or guilt—even when you logically “know better.”
This was me.
I wasn’t just chasing a dream. I was running.
📌 Away from my family.
📌 Away from the country that held so much pain.
📌 Away from the little girl inside me who still held onto anger, resentment, and betrayal.
Because the truth was—I wasn’t just creating a life. I was escaping a past.
The Poison I Was Drinking Without Realising It
I carried anger and resentment for years.
Because the people who were supposed to protect me didn’t. What happened to me should never have happened.
And I thought holding onto that anger was my power.
🔥 “I’ll prove them wrong.”
🔥 “I’ll build a life so far away from them that I’ll never have to feel this pain again.”
🔥 “I’ll make so much of myself that their failure won’t define me.”
And in some ways, it worked.
Success became my armour. Work became my escape. Anger became mysilent motivation.
But there was one thing I didn’t realise:
Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the ones who hurt you to die.
The only person suffering… was me.
The Moment I Stopped Running
It wasn’t success that saved me. It wasn’t time that healed me.
It was the day I stopped suppressing and started releasing.
And here’s the most powerful part:
🧘♀️ I didn’t have to talk about it.
🧘♀️ I didn’t have to relive the pain through words.
🧘♀️ I didn’t have to force myself to forgive before I was ready.
Instead, I gave my body permission to release what my mind had spent years suppressing.
Through breathwork, somatic healing, and deep inner work, I let it all go—
🔹 The anger that had lived in my chest for years.
🔹 The resentment I thought I needed to hold onto to protect myself.
🔹 The pain that had shaped my life more than I wanted to admit.
And when I let it go?
I didn’t just find peace—I found power.
Because forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s not about saying “it’s okay.” It’s not about excusing what happened.
It’s about choosing freedom.
Not because they deserved forgiveness. But because I deserved peace.
Turning My Liberation Into a Gift for Others
After this transformation, I knew I couldn’t keep this to myself.
I had spent years learning mindset strategies, leadership tools, and external success techniques—but nothing compared to the power of true, somatic release.
I became obsessed with cutting-edge healing modalities, diving deep into:
✔ Breathwork—to release emotions stored in the body without needing to verbalise them.
✔ Somatic healing—to clear trauma and rewire the nervous system.
✔ Subconscious reprogramming—to break patterns that no longer serve us.
✔ Belief Clearing—to release deep-seated limiting beliefs and rewire the mind for self-trust, confidence, and inner freedom, allowing you to break free from old conditioning and step into a new reality.
This is why I created my retreats—to offer the same transformation to others who are ready to break free.
Are You Still Carrying What Was Never Meant to Be Yours?
If you’re reading this and you’re still holding on—to anger, pain, or the feeling that you need to prove yourself…
I see you. I was you.
And I want you to know—there’s a way out.
Not through talking about it over and over again. Not through burying yourself in work and achievement.
But through a different kind of release. One that doesn’t require words—only willingness.
Your Invitation to Freedom
This is why I created my Retreats—a space for those who are ready to let goand finally breathe again.
A place where you don’t have to relive your pain to release it. Where your bodycan do what your mind hasn’t been able to. Where you finally break free.
📍 Join me on my upcoming retreat in Arundel, West Sussex, UK for a weekend that will change your life. 28th February to 2nd March.
🎟 Limited spots available—secure yours now: 👉 retreats.elifkose.com
If this resonates with you, hit reply and let me know. Or if you already know this is for you, book your spot now.
You don’t have to carry this forever.
You don’t have to keep running.
I have got you!
Yours in Transformation
Elif x